(The StarPhoenix-Postmedia News) Ack! Even if they've got fantasy jobs and movie-star good looks, single ladies in the movies usually act like bad role models, or are just plain bad. (Boiling bunnies, psycho bad.) What happened to being a fun, fearless female? In Bridesmaids, opening this weekend, the ensemble cast is a crew of gals who can be fun, and funny. (Finally!) In other words, they're nothing like the 10 ladies on this list...
Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones's Diary, 2001)
We're sorry for adding you, Ms. Jones (Renee Zellweger). Your frankness and flaws can be endearing - and we can't dislike anyone who introduced the term "emotional f*ckwit" into the vernacular. Call it a case of TMI; your neuroses are so well-known you've become the oft-referenced, and not so admirable, archetype of the lady "singleton." You drink too much, smoke too much, can't cook, constantly freak out about your weight (and size of knickers) and can't seem to enter a social situation without making a quirky mess of it. We know she's your rival and all, but Natasha's (Embeth Davidtz) got the sort of single gal life we'd prefer to champion: she's a pro, she's ambitious and she can charm Salman Rushdie over cocktails. V. V. good.
Maggie (In Her Shoes, 2005)
Cameron Diaz is usually high in our book of funny ladies (OK, at least for Shrek) but no one likes a snotty, stuck-up brat who sponges off of their sister - let alone one who sleeps with said sister's boyfriend/boss. Fun and fearless is not the same thing as selfish and irresponsible. The only thing more wretched than Maggie's horrible actions was the plot to this movie.
Lisa (Obsessed, 2009)
Hot, ambitious, single: clearly, Lisa (Ali Larter) is not a woman to be trusted. Derek (Idris Elba) apparently senses this about his new temp from the get go. And despite her aforementioned hotness, he repeatedly shakes off Lisa's advances. (He has a wife at home, dammit! And she looks like Beyonce with a bad weave!) But Lisa is undeterred, and her obsession quickly escalates into violence against Derek and his family. It's never explained why exactly Lisa's so fixated on getting with Derek. You'd think a pretty and clever young woman such as herself would have her pick of eligible bachelors to stalk. Show some imagination, lady. The world is yours to terrorize!
Abby (The Ugly Truth, 2009)
Girl likes boy, boy doesn't like girl. We've heard this one before. While we find it hard to believe any man wouldn't fall head over heels for Katherine Heigl, her character falls hopelessly in love with her "perfect" next door neighbour, Colin (Eric Winter), a hunky doctor. As for what attracts her to him in the first place, Abby's got a list - and her criteria for Mr. Right are so stereotypical they could've been lifted straight out of Seventeen magazine. Abby's rival, a macho relationship guru named Mike (Gerard Butler), has similarly cliched views on females. Naturally, she turns to him for help. What ensues does nothing to make single women, or single men, feel great about how they're portrayed onscreen - and Heigl manages to convince us that reading a bad teen magazine story would be more enjoyable than sitting through another one of her rom-coms.
We're sorry for adding you, Ms. Jones (Renee Zellweger). Your frankness and flaws can be endearing - and we can't dislike anyone who introduced the term "emotional f*ckwit" into the vernacular. Call it a case of TMI; your neuroses are so well-known you've become the oft-referenced, and not so admirable, archetype of the lady "singleton." You drink too much, smoke too much, can't cook, constantly freak out about your weight (and size of knickers) and can't seem to enter a social situation without making a quirky mess of it. We know she's your rival and all, but Natasha's (Embeth Davidtz) got the sort of single gal life we'd prefer to champion: she's a pro, she's ambitious and she can charm Salman Rushdie over cocktails. V. V. good.
Maggie (In Her Shoes, 2005)
Cameron Diaz is usually high in our book of funny ladies (OK, at least for Shrek) but no one likes a snotty, stuck-up brat who sponges off of their sister - let alone one who sleeps with said sister's boyfriend/boss. Fun and fearless is not the same thing as selfish and irresponsible. The only thing more wretched than Maggie's horrible actions was the plot to this movie.
Lisa (Obsessed, 2009)
Hot, ambitious, single: clearly, Lisa (Ali Larter) is not a woman to be trusted. Derek (Idris Elba) apparently senses this about his new temp from the get go. And despite her aforementioned hotness, he repeatedly shakes off Lisa's advances. (He has a wife at home, dammit! And she looks like Beyonce with a bad weave!) But Lisa is undeterred, and her obsession quickly escalates into violence against Derek and his family. It's never explained why exactly Lisa's so fixated on getting with Derek. You'd think a pretty and clever young woman such as herself would have her pick of eligible bachelors to stalk. Show some imagination, lady. The world is yours to terrorize!
Abby (The Ugly Truth, 2009)
Girl likes boy, boy doesn't like girl. We've heard this one before. While we find it hard to believe any man wouldn't fall head over heels for Katherine Heigl, her character falls hopelessly in love with her "perfect" next door neighbour, Colin (Eric Winter), a hunky doctor. As for what attracts her to him in the first place, Abby's got a list - and her criteria for Mr. Right are so stereotypical they could've been lifted straight out of Seventeen magazine. Abby's rival, a macho relationship guru named Mike (Gerard Butler), has similarly cliched views on females. Naturally, she turns to him for help. What ensues does nothing to make single women, or single men, feel great about how they're portrayed onscreen - and Heigl manages to convince us that reading a bad teen magazine story would be more enjoyable than sitting through another one of her rom-coms.
Helen (Death Becomes Her, 1992)
If your fiance (Bruce Willis) runs off with your old rival (Meryl Streep), a little word of advice: don't pull a Helen (Goldie Hawn). Move on, write a book, make friends who aren't jerks. Don't, like Helen, become an overweight cat-lady who only dines on room-temperature yogurt. Don't, like Helen, become so obsessed with your ex you wind up in an institution. Don't, like Helen, sell your soul to some witch played by Isabella Rossellini so that you can look hot again. (Actually, that last point seems like a fair trade.) And - most importantly - don't, like Helen, attempt to brutally murder your rival. Because if she turns out to be just as effed up - and enchanted - as you, you could wind up being best frenemies forever.
Rachel (Something Borrowed, 2011)
We like Ginnifer Goodwin as an actress, but unfortunately we can't say the same for her character in Something Borrowed. Sure, she's a talented attorney working in a successful law firm in New York, which would have you think that she would be a positive role model for single ladies. After indulging in a few too many drinks on her 30th birthday she accidentally wakes up next to her law- school crush - who also happens to be her BFF's fiance. We all have flaws, sure. But betraying your best friend - even as lousy a best friend as Darcy (Kate Hudson) - is the opposite of heroine material. What's the female equivalent ``bros before hos?'' Someone cross-stitch that saying on a pillow and mail it to Rachel.
Ursula (The Little Mermaid, 1989)
In some respects, Ursula's just an outrageous older woman. She enjoys belting out a showtune every now and then, chilling with her house pets and tending her garden. But since she's past a certain age and unmarried, there MUST be something wrong with her. Something like being a total witch - who'll prey on innocent young mermaids, and scheme to steal their princes. Still, it must be tough being a single lady under the sea. Don't even get us started on what's going on with Ariel, our titular little mermaid. Changing your personality to please some dude you met on a pirate ship is dodgy enough without going as far as switching your species.
Carrie (Sex and the City, 2008)
Let's face it; the Sex and the City movies will never be celebrated for their empowering message. Just the thought of hearing another one of Carrie's rants about Mr. Big makes us want to throw out our Sex and the City DVD collection. On top of crawling back to the man (who may have the stupidest nickname ever) time and time again, Carrie seems to think that the best way to celebrate make-ups, break-ups and everything in-between is to buy a new pair of insanely unaffordable shoes and commiserate endlessly with her friends (who become more shrill with every instalment). If Carrie were our BFF, we'd be worried about some major self-esteem issues, never mind the credit card debt.
If your fiance (Bruce Willis) runs off with your old rival (Meryl Streep), a little word of advice: don't pull a Helen (Goldie Hawn). Move on, write a book, make friends who aren't jerks. Don't, like Helen, become an overweight cat-lady who only dines on room-temperature yogurt. Don't, like Helen, become so obsessed with your ex you wind up in an institution. Don't, like Helen, sell your soul to some witch played by Isabella Rossellini so that you can look hot again. (Actually, that last point seems like a fair trade.) And - most importantly - don't, like Helen, attempt to brutally murder your rival. Because if she turns out to be just as effed up - and enchanted - as you, you could wind up being best frenemies forever.
Rachel (Something Borrowed, 2011)
We like Ginnifer Goodwin as an actress, but unfortunately we can't say the same for her character in Something Borrowed. Sure, she's a talented attorney working in a successful law firm in New York, which would have you think that she would be a positive role model for single ladies. After indulging in a few too many drinks on her 30th birthday she accidentally wakes up next to her law- school crush - who also happens to be her BFF's fiance. We all have flaws, sure. But betraying your best friend - even as lousy a best friend as Darcy (Kate Hudson) - is the opposite of heroine material. What's the female equivalent ``bros before hos?'' Someone cross-stitch that saying on a pillow and mail it to Rachel.
Ursula (The Little Mermaid, 1989)
In some respects, Ursula's just an outrageous older woman. She enjoys belting out a showtune every now and then, chilling with her house pets and tending her garden. But since she's past a certain age and unmarried, there MUST be something wrong with her. Something like being a total witch - who'll prey on innocent young mermaids, and scheme to steal their princes. Still, it must be tough being a single lady under the sea. Don't even get us started on what's going on with Ariel, our titular little mermaid. Changing your personality to please some dude you met on a pirate ship is dodgy enough without going as far as switching your species.
Carrie (Sex and the City, 2008)
Let's face it; the Sex and the City movies will never be celebrated for their empowering message. Just the thought of hearing another one of Carrie's rants about Mr. Big makes us want to throw out our Sex and the City DVD collection. On top of crawling back to the man (who may have the stupidest nickname ever) time and time again, Carrie seems to think that the best way to celebrate make-ups, break-ups and everything in-between is to buy a new pair of insanely unaffordable shoes and commiserate endlessly with her friends (who become more shrill with every instalment). If Carrie were our BFF, we'd be worried about some major self-esteem issues, never mind the credit card debt.
Catherine Tramell (Basic Instinct, 1992)
It's bad enough that people think single gals sit home alone and eat ice cream by the pint while belting out "All By Myself." (Not that we all haven't done that at least once. Stop judging.) At least we're not evil murderers like Catherine Tramell. The successful crime novelist plays lust-filled mind games with detective Nick Curran (Michael Douglas) when he is assigned to investigate her for the murder of her boyfriend. Bodies begin to pile up around him, with all of the evidence pointing to his new playmate.
Alex (Fatal Attraction, 1987)
If the person you were having an affair with suddenly wasn't that into you anymore, you'd probably go a little crazy. Maybe you wouldn't start stalking his wife and kid. Maybe you wouldn't go after them all with a butcher knife. Maybe you wouldn't boil a pet bunny in a fit of rage. But then, maybe you're not an ambitious and unattached attractive career gal like Alex (Glenn Close). If the movies have taught us anything, it's that career gals are all monsters who should be suspected of borderline personality disorder.
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